Patience Is A Virtue, So Why Is It So Bloomin Hard!
Patience is a virtue right? It is. But it can also be so damn hard to practice!
Patience is something we tend to need in droves when we’re making any big changes or starting or running a business…but it can be one of the hardest things that we do. Go figure!
We want it to happen NOW, NOW, NOW! Many people also lose patience on the journey and give up, often just before a break through.
There’s a great Thomas Edison quote to emphasise this, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.” Coming from the person who also said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” I really think it’s an opinion worth listening to.
Being patient means that we have to accept that we’re living in a moment of uncertainty and when our brains loooove certainty it can make it feel very difficult.
Impatience is a big issue!
In the last few years I’ve really seen impatience being a big issue for business owners, and anyone trying to make a big change too of course.
Think weight loss, new morning routines, diet, exercise, all the things where we know what to do to make the change but we don’t stick to it because it feels too hard.
So take fad diets for example because I always love a weight loss analogy!
So, you lose the weight really quickly through sacrificing certain foods or restricting calories, does it ever actually stay off?
Whereas, if you lose it slow and steady over time and create a lifestyle change that actually works for you, you incorporate exercise that you actually enjoy and it allows your unconscious habits to catch up with you, does it stay off then?
Which process feels better?
There’s a little more to it
But, here’s the thing, it’s not JUST because you’re frustrated at the time it takes for your business to grow. You’re frustrated at what you’re making it MEAN that it’s taking so long for your business to grow.
So…what are you making it MEAN to you that you’re not growing as fast as other people say you should?
That you’re not good enough?
That you’re not cut out for this?
That other people are better than you and judging you for not being further ahead?
Listen to those pesky little thoughts and catch them so you can challenge them, because they’re not true!
Nothing has any meaning except for the meaning you give it.
It’s not your fault!
We’re constantly bombarded with the ‘how I made 6 figures in 6 months and I can teach you my exact steps’ (If you’re not sure how I feel about then head HERE) so we’re seeing how ‘doable’ it is.
Other people have done it right? Apart from all the steps that may have been missed out, the different backgrounds, circumstances etc etc. DOH!
So, because of these messages, we’re expecting that in 6 short months we’re going to be making 6 figures in our brand new business, and if we don’t we’ve failed.
So, hang on, you’re expecting to be able to understand business, marketing, your message, your niche, your ideal client, what products you want to sell, test everything, create your brand, your content, know how you want to work, actually work with people so you have testimonials, build a reputation, tame all the mindset gremlins you’ve had since you were a child, not to mention all the other things you need to learn or create, and make 6 figures…all in 6 months?? With no help??
Impatience can be the killer of dreams!
Impatience clouds your judgement, increases your frustration (which is the biggest driver of quitting!) and makes the mindset gremlins go crazy!
‘Why haven’t YOU done it yet, other people have’.
‘Why aren’t you where they are? They must be better.’
It can really cause you to self sabotage and not make the best decisions for you. It can cause you to be impulsive…and I don’t mean in the romantic oooooh i’m being ‘spontaneous’ kind of way!
Great things take time. Give yourself that. I’ve seen a lot of people rush a launch or a new business or new product not feeling prepared and sabotaging their efforts.
It’s a habit
Remember, as with so much else, patience is a habit. One you can learn and increase over time. Practice makes perfect. So how do you become more patient? You practice it!
It allows us to be far more mindful, always good when making decisions, and another great way to practice it!
Patience also allows us to let go of the attachment to the outcome. It allows us to trust more that things ARE going to happen in the right way at the right time.
It helps us be FAR more resilient too. We learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable!
Patience leads to the good stuff!
Practising patience also means you’ll take on the right opportunities, the right clients for you. It also means those ‘too good to be true’ opportunities will be far more considered and analysed for what they really are…good marketing. It allows you to take the time to be more analytical, question things more, look at them from all angles and tweak things as you go along.
Rather than rushing in with both feet saying ‘I WANT A MEMBERSHIP’ and setting it up, getting people in there and then realising you’ve created the opposite of the freedom you were aiming for.
It doesn’t mean you can’t have a membership, it just means you take the time to make sure it’s what you really want and set up in a way that fits what you want for your life.
Being patient doesn’t mean you’re not taking action, quite the opposite. When you can take action, let go of the attachment to the result and know that your efforts will pay off then THAT is a powerful position to be in. It’s also a lot more fun!
Stop with all the pushing
So often we PUSH PUSH PUSH trying to get to the end result.
Pushing is the definition of something being moved further AWAY. So what if you just stopped pushing and actually enjoyed the journey?
The push and hustle doesn’t feel good. We’re not celebrating our successes. We’re not taking the time to analyse and tweak. It’s stressful, it’s frustrating, it knocks our confidence!
How you can practice
There are two things I find really helpful in practising patience. One is understanding how we learn new things. Understanding why it’s so hard to make a change. (Go HERE for more on that!)
And also learning and practising reframing. Being able to be mindful and ask yourself what you can do about the situation, what’s a potential GOOD thing about the situation and how else COULD you look at it?
These things take time. It takes our unconscious minds time to form new habits and catch up with what our conscious wants to do. It takes time to learn all the things you need to learn. It takes time to know how you REALLY want to run your business, who you want to work with and what works for you.
Stop giving yourself a hard time for not getting where you want to be in record time. It’ll just stop you enjoying the journey. Allow yourself the permission for it to take time and know that you’re exactly where you need to be right now.
If you know that now is the time to start changing things for yourself and want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability to make sure you’re doing the things you need to then please book in a free discovery call so we can see what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the successful business owner you know you can be!!
P.S – Last question…Are you sick of self sabotaging and procrastinating on getting your business going? Would you like to learn some practical strategies to stop you procrastinating WHEN it happens so you can FINALLY get the things you NEED to do DONE? Download my FREE guide below and I’ll show you 5 simple strategies to stop procrastination in its tracks!
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Fran Excell, mindset coach for self sabotaging female entrepreneurs at www.franexcell.com