The Power of language and Watching what you say!

 In Beliefs, Brain Science, Language, Podcast, Stories

The Power of language and Watching what you say!


Language is SO freaking powerful and we completely underestimate how it can shape our world and we can really take its power for granted.

In this post I’m going to be merely scratching the surface of what’s possible for you when you can learn to master the words you use.


Some serious power


Words have the power to create images and thoughts in your mind AND the mind of whoever you’re talking to.

Language can affect the way you feel about something.  It can elicit emotions which will affect your actions, and the majority of this happens on an unconscious level.

The words we use can GIVE us power or take it away in an instant. For example I can vs I can’t.

They can pull us forward or keep us stuck exactly where we are.

The words we use can and DO shape our reality.

When we truly understand this power, that we all have access to, we can completely change our worlds and create new ones that serve us far better.

Awesome right?  


What do you mean?


Nothing really has any meaning apart from the meaning YOU give it.  What do I mean by this?

We all take something different from someone’s words based on our own maps of the world.  

What means one thing to you can mean something totally different to another person.  

Politicians are a great example of this.  They use language where each person listening will take something completely different from it, enabling them to influence a nation without REALLY saying anything at all.  

Sorry to bring it up but take Brexit and Trump.  ‘Take Back Control’ and ‘Make America Great Again’ what does that actually mean?  It means something COMPLETELY different to every single person listening to it so you can see how it could be easy to get people behind the ‘message’!

We ASSUME a huge amount based on language that we use. We also read other people’s minds and hear what we think they’ve said, not necessarily what they HAVE said!


It’s all just words!


Your words and thoughts become the ‘stories’ that you tell yourself.  

The stories you tell yourself become your beliefs and your beliefs form the kind of actions you will and won’t take and that then becomes your reality.

When you’re aware of this you can choose to look at things from many other angles that you just wouldn’t have seen before and choose which way is going to serve you best.


I don’t want…


We talk so much about what we DON’T want and when we do that that’s exactly where the focus goes.  

And I’m sure you know by now where focus goes energy flows so guess what happens! You get exactly what you said you would, a big old ‘see, I told you’ and then it’s reinforced in a loop that what you believe is fact and then come the self fulfilling prophecies.  

Something else to be aware of is your brain also doesn’t hear the word ‘don’t’. So, say you’re telling yourself,‘I don’t want to fail’ you’re actually programming ‘I want to fail’ into your brain.

The words ‘fail’ and ‘failure’ are an post in themselves!

The example that’s often used for this is ‘Don’t think of a pink elephant’ what can you see right now?  

Same thing when someone’s carrying a hot drink and someone says ‘don’t spill it’ then what tends to happen?

The things we say instantly transfer into images.  So when you hear don’t spill your tea, you get an image of yourself spilling your tea as if it’s already happened and you’re programming into your mind that that is what you want to happen.

The way to get around this is to catch ourselves in those don’t moments and change it to what we do want.


A few simple switcheroos for you


Start to try and notice when you’re using these, challenge yourself with a little switch up and see how it feels!  Little changes…big difference!

Instead of ‘I can’t’ how about ‘I can’t YET’ or asking yourself ‘How can I’? Open your thinking to opportunities rather than closing them off.

Instead of ‘Should’ how about ‘could’? The word should is racked with guilt and a little bit of shame thrown in for good measure, it takes power away from YOU.

Instead of ‘Could’ how about ‘can’ Take it one step further and show yourself what’s possible.  Using can shows you!

Instead of ‘Have to’ how about ‘Get to’. We can moan a lot about certain things and when you ‘have’ to do something it suggests you don’t really want to but also takes away your feeling of choice.  We do have a choice. Even in things we don’t think we do. For example, I have to pay X bill. You actually don’t. There are consequences sure but plenty of people don’t!

Instead of ‘I can’t afford it’ how about ‘It’s not a priority’

Instead of ‘I don’t have time’ how about ‘It’s not a priority’

These two are part and parcel.  We can find time and find money for the things that are truly a priority for us, so give yourself your power back and appreciate the choice! The more you tell yourself you can’t afford it or you don’t have time the more evidence you’re going to find to support that.

Instead of ‘Never’ and ‘always’ how about ‘sometimes’?  Challenge when you use these words because you’re telling yourself something is fact when it’s usually not at all. Again, it’s giving you some power back, opens you up to possibility and opportunity rather than shutting things down as fact where you wouldn’t even LOOK for another way.

Challenge negative ‘I am’ statements. Attaching something to your identity is a limiting belief.  For example, ‘I am stupid’ or ‘I am a failure’. Really? Has there been a time you’ve known that to not be true?  Exam results? Getting a job? Doing something creative? It could be anything.

Notice when you’re attaching a meaning to something.  For example, ‘not hitting my target means I’m a failure’.  This is just dying to be challenged!

A similar one is, ‘If X happens then Y happens’.  For example, ‘if I don’t hit my revenue target on my launch then my business is a failure and I’ll have to get a job’ Really??

You can see just how easy it is for a couple of words to completely change a situation for you and how quickly those words can turn into a hard and fast belief which WILL affect the actions you take and create your reality.

Like I said, this is literally scratching the surface so what i’d love for you to do is just start to notice these and start using the switcheroos and see what a difference it makes.  It can be hard to notice these on your own which is where coaching is amazing for holding up that mirror but the more you practice the better at it you’ll get and you’ll change your language habits and then…your world! Woohoo!

If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Programme and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now!


Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at


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