Stop saying you can’t afford it

There are two things we need to stop telling ourselves that I see come up time and time again.  The ‘I can’t afford it’, and the ‘I don’t have time’ chat.   I’ve talked about this in previous episodes but I wanted to delve a little deeper into this and why it’s so important we stop telling ourselves this.   Firstly, you tell yourself that you can’t afford it or you don’t have time…your brain says OK then and sends you all the evidence for it to be true and none to the contrary.    It’s not going to be searching for any thoughts or ideas to help you solve the issue, it’s just going to agree with what you say.  Thats its job.    This then means that it becomes a fact, so why would you ever challenge it?!    But it’s not a fact, at all.   What’s the reality?   The reality is we can always find both time and money…if it’s enough of a priority!   Ok, this isn’t going to be true 100% of the time and there are circumstances of course where it is the reality BUT in the vast MAJORITY of cases this is completely and utterly true.  I’ve seen it and done it myself time and time and time again.   It’s a scarcity mindset and using powerful language where you already feel defeated, so where’s that going to get you?!   It’s not going to help you look for solutions or problem solve.  So you don’t buy or do the thing you want to. When the reality is there may have been a way for you to.   Switch up the language   Saying I can’t afford it takes away your control and responsibility in the situation.    Understand more often than not it’s not actually the truth at all, but a CHOICE.   Instead of I can’t afford it ask ‘how can I afford it?’   I’ve said these phrases SO many times to myself and when I stopped, reframed and asked myself different questions a whole life of opportunity opened up.     I’m not trapped by that mentality anymore, I just find a way to make it happen. I mean, there have been moments when i’ve looked at something for £30 and told myself I couldn’t afford it or can’t ‘justify’ it right now but then spent £5k on a qualification or a course.    Can you think of an example where that’s true?  It’s about perceived value and priorities.   I’ve invested more in myself in the last 6 months than ever before, and i’ve invested heavily in my own development over the last 5 years on things that at first glance I probably can’t afford.    I stopped playing the victim and took control over my own destiny back.     There’s so much guilt and shame associated with not being able to afford something.     There’s so much of being the martyr involved in I don’t have time.    Both have huge negative connotations.  A lack of control. But also positive payback.    There’s a whole other episode for me to do on positive payback and secondary gains but for now just start to get really honest with yourself.    What positive payback do you get for saying I can’t afford it or I don’t have time?  Do you get sympathy from other people? Do you get to play superwoman?     There’s no judgement here, i’ve done it all!     Once you have that honesty with yourself, you REALLY have that honesty with yourself and you can’t hide from it!     You can’t unlearn it and you CAN start to call yourself out on your own BS, challenge it and also take back that control over your choices and get out of victim mode.   So many of us engage in mindless spending where we don’t even think about it.  But what would happen if you were more mindful about what goes where?     Now, i’ve already got you covered with how to find more time in your day with this episode HERE.     So, how can you afford something you told yourself you can’t?   First of all, work out how much of a priority it really is! What does it bring to your life?     What problem or pain would it take away from your life? Is it actually a priority at all, is it something you actually need?   To be SUPER clear, I’m not a financial manager and I can’t give you ‘advice’ over what to do so all I can do is tell you from my own experience how i’ve afforded things I couldn’t technically afford before, then it’s up to you to come up with your own ideas and make the right decision based on your own circumstances 😉    Sell things you no longer want/use   Marie Kondo the sniz out of your home and anything that doesn’t ‘spark joy’ allow it to give you the joy of pennies by selling it on ebay, facebook marketplace or any other online selling thingy of your choice. (I’ve never used them so can’t speak from experience but gumtree, shpock are another couple to look at!)   When I moved from London to Kent about 6 years ago I made about £2k doing this and inviting friends round to my ‘bedroom shop.’  There may or may not have been wine involved in these events, I couldn’t possibly comment. But they were fun, I got pennies in my pocket and they got a great deal, win win. I do this on the regular, it’s fun plus it takes away some of my ‘It’s still got the tag on’ guilt.   Use the compound effect.     The compound effect is where small things add up to a big thing over time. (that’s the cliff notes for you!) It’s that ripple effect of the choices you make and this can definitely be attributed to finance.    Every month I downloaded my bank and credit card statements, put it all in one spreadsheet and looked for any ‘mindless spending’.     For me this was eating out.  YIKES. It’s sobering when you see it all laid out right in front of you how much it adds up to over a month.     If you’re still in your job, think about those coffees or chai lattes you get every morning.  Call them £2.50 per day, 5 days per week, that’s £650 in a year.     Say you grab your lunch on the go instead of making it in advance.  Call it £8 per day. That’s over £2000 in a year!! You can see how it all adds up.   What if you were putting that in the piggy bank instead…just saying! If it stays in your bank account it will get spent, so put it aside!   Another way to achieve this is to save a percentage of your income into a separate pot, or bank account, that is used specifically for the things you tell yourself you can’t afford.    Over time this will feel like it’s grown effortlessly.  (If you’re reading and telling yourself you can’t afford to save any of your income right now, check yourself and ask yourself if it’s really true!) Your expenses tend to grow and shrink in line with your income and what’s in your bank account gets spent.   If it’s not there it doesn’t.    Interest free credit cards   Now, I’m going to be suuuuuuuuuuuuper clear here that I do NOT advocate going into debt, this is me purely talking from my own experiences.  I would NEVER do this if I was already in debt personally I just use it as a great way of buying something up front that I can pay off over time and not be charged extra for it!  I would always make sure I KNOW I can make monthly payments too. This is not a good option if you don’t have that covered.   Put out an offer or flash sale   If you already have a business, already have an audience…what can you sell them? Don’t discount to the point that it looks too good to be true and actually puts people off, or offer it on something other people have paid far more for because that’s going to cause upset from previous clients.  What can you think of to sell as a one off that could get some spondoolies in your pocket quickly? Power hour session with you? A course? Get your thinking cap on, you could even ask your audience what they want!   Also, don’t forget to look down the back of the sofa and check your PPI ha!    There are a TONNE of things you can do if you just ask yourself better questions.  How CAN I afford this? How COULD I find time?   Be honest with yourself about your priorities. If it’s not a priority that’s cool, no worries! Move on.  If it really is you WILL find a way!    If you got value from this and you know in your gut that now is the time to step up and start rewiring your thinking and changing things for yourself then book in a free discovery call so we can work out what needs to happen to get you from where you’re at right now, to the action taking success you know you can be!! If you want my eyes and ears on YOUR problems I work with people 1:1, through the Proactive Pants Programme and 1:1 full day intensives, stop waiting for if and when and decide to change things now! Fx Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Self Sabotage & Get More Done In Less Time at www.franexcell.com RESOURCES: Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here Download your FREE Stressed To Success Meditation here Shop Printables & Meditations here Grab your 365 day ‘Attitude Of Gratitude’ Journal here Grab Your ‘Positive Pants Firmly On’ Notebook here Book In a Free 20 Minute Discovery Call here