Why You Aren’t Doing What You Want To!
Why You Aren’t Doing What You Want To!
There are probably a bazillion little reasons why you aren’t doing what you want to in your business or your life…or perhaps you feel like it’s just one big kahuna of a reason.
Either way, I’m going to go through a few of the most common reasons I see in the hope that it may make you think slightly differently and perhaps even make you realise how gloriously capable you are of doing the thing you want to do!
Whether you want to scale your business to a particular income level, start a business from scratch or even just believe that you can be doing something that you actually enjoy instead of being ‘trapped’ by the rat race that doesn’t really suit you anymore.
There will be tonnes of stories your brain and your nervous system will be telling you around why it’s not possible.
We’re fed (or brainwashed, whichever way you want to look at it ha!) so many messages of you go to school, you get qualifications, you get a job, you work your way up, you retire, you die.
You learn to validate yourself by your job title or salary. I fell into it too! But, I remember being 26 years old in a really successful career in media and advertising thinking to myself.
There must be more. I know I’m capable of more. The truth was I’d got to a great position, was respected in my profession and by my bosses, all good. But there was a sense of just not doing anything ‘meaningful’. I’d stopped feeling that sense of achievement or purpose. I’d ticked a lot of the boxes.
But it took me to my 30s and through a little anxiety ridden existential crisis to figure it out. Mainly because I was telling myself so many things that weren’t true, but accepting them as truth.
Plus, I didn’t know anyone who had their own business, I’ll talk more on that in a minute. It felt like an impossible hill to climb in terms of even having a clue where to start.
The biggest message running round my head was that it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to love what you do, almost like you’re not supposed to. The work to live vs live to work mentality.That was only reserved for people who’d been born into wealth. Not for us muggles.
The next message was that even if you do end up doing something you love, you’ll pay for it in terms of ability to earn good money.
So the ONLY way to do what you love, was to in my mind, struggle for money. Then you’re trying to balance different levels of happiness.
Which one is less painful, more financial freedom to do what you love in your spare time, or do what you love and NOT be able to do what you want in your spare time because you can’t afford it.
There’s also the live for the weekend and wait for retirement mentality that’s rife through society.
If these are running in your noggin as truth, and we’re all run by our unconscious programming 95-99% of the time…you can see how that’s never going to change, right?
BUT…so many people have that little niggle in the back of their minds about what they’d love to do…quickly followed by all the reasons they can’t.
Write a book, work for yourself, have an income you could never dream of achieving in a corporate job, to not be stressed and overwhelmed all the time, to actually HAVE time and freedom to choose what you do with.
What is that ‘thing’ for you. What’s that ‘niggle’?
Whether you’ve started your business or not. What’s that thing that if you weren’t ruled by paying the bills (and your stories around that), or if you knew you couldn’t fail, that you would LOVE to be doing?
Now we’ve got that…i’m going to give you some of the biggest reasons so many people DON’T go after it, if what i’ve already said isn’t reason enough ha!
One of the biggest reasons is you genuinely don’t think it’s possible for YOU. What I’d love for you to do is grab a journal and start to draw out those stories.
What makes you think that’s true? Why NOT you? What makes you believe THOSE things that come up? Who’s beliefs are they really? Yours? Someone else’s? Based on how you were brought up, or what a teacher said to you? Or the strong opinion of a parent or sibling? What is the reason you believe it’s possible for other people but not YOU?
That leads me nicely onto the next biggie. Your friends and family’s opinion. Ohhhhhhh this is a big one. The number one way people often find me is often through an episode I did called ‘why your friends and family don’t support your business’.
I know from google search stats and analytics this is HUGE. It’s SO common. If you want to go deeper into this one go have a listen to that episode.
But essentially, what was modelled for you growing up in terms of doing something you love?
You’ll often find with a lot of entrepreneurs that their parents, or someone in their family ran a business, or someone they were close to.
For those that weren’t modelled that, you usually have to break through a few unconscious beliefs first, but that’s totally normal.
It’s about creating awareness around what was modelled and what was taught to you about the way things ‘should’ be with regards to earning an income.
What was ‘prized’ by your primary care givers. What did they value? What did THEIR parents value? It’s not about being right or wrong, good or bad, most of us just don’t really know we can challenge these ideals for ourselves as adults because it’s unconscious…but you know now 🙂
Next, what’s modelled for you now? Are you around people who own their own businesses? Or are working their way towards it?
It’s SO fundamental to have people who are working towards the same goal, or have already achieved what you want. It’s giving your brain and nervous system the evidence that it’s possible AND that it’s safe! Plus it gives you motivation and encouragement to keep going. It’s hard to just muster that for yourself!
That leads me nicely onto the next reason…You just haven’t had the hard and fast, brain can’t argue with you evidence that it’s possible. You need that. Don’t underestimate the importance of it. Seek it as much as possible. Join groups, memberships, communities, go to events.
Your self esteem and the stories you tell yourself, about yourself.What are they. We touched on this already but it’s worth repeating. What are the reasons you’re telling yourself you can’t have it? They may be surface level reasons, but they could be a lot deeper than that. Self sabotage is a biggie!
Next up is that you don’t know where to start. This is the more surface level reason, but a powerful one nonetheless! I mean…there’s a LOT to take in and a lot of different messages that can just leave you in a state of confusion. TOTALLY understandable. It’s about finding that person that has done or is doing what you want to do and learn from them. Step by step. Do this, do that!
And lastly for today, you might actually just don’t want to do the work that’s required to get it. AND…guess what…that’s ok!
There’s a BIG difference between telling yourself you can’t do something because there’s something inherent in you that means it’s not possible vs not actually wanting to do the work.
BUT there is a very different emotional charge from ‘I can’t do it because I’m not capable and I feel guilt and shame about that’ to ‘I’d love that but I can’t be bothered to be honest.’ So just be honest with yourself.
Also check that your story about the work that’s required is true.
Check that there’s not another way, stay curious about the possibility that comes with ‘how can I’ vs ‘I can’t’ It’s always going to require one or the other of time or money. Usually a bit of both. But this is one of the reasons I think it’s far more sensible and easier on the noggin to start your business, alongside your job and look at your job as your venture capital investor.
But so many of these aren’t true. They aren’t reality. Pick out those stories and challenge them! Reframe ‘I can’t’ to ‘how can I’. You’ll be amazed at what comes up.
So if this has made you feel even the slightest bit different about what you’re capable of achieving that makes me do a happy and I 100% encourage you to find yourself a TONNE of evidence for that lovely brain of yours that money, freedom AND time is achievable when you’re working for yourself…go to bit.ly/franandlisa or hit the link in the show notes, or on instagram, whichever way is easiest for you and join Lisa Johnson’s Race To Recurring Revenue free challenge.(recurring revenue is things like courses, memberships, subscription boxes, drop shipping, ebooks, print on demand. So many options where you do the work up front and then keep making money from the knowledge already in your head…even if you don’t think you have any of that, trust me you do, i’ve helped enough people through this programme and my own to know that to be absolutely true!)
You’ll learn ways that you don’t have to trade time for money, you can have the security of knowing what’s coming into your bank account every month, you’ll be around people who’ve been there, done it and got the T-shirt. You’ll find THOUSANDS of people who want what you want so you’ll find the evidence AND the community.
I’m going to be doing some bonus episodes with some very special people for you in the next couple of weeks to show you what’s really possible.
I want to give your brain as much real, tangible evidence that it’s possible for YOU. Without all the mind gremlins whispering ‘that’s for them not for you, you can’t do that, who do you think you are!’
Hopefully you will see, or hear, how passionate I am about people truly understanding that this option for your life reality exists. You can go into it with the mindset of scaling your existing business past that income ceiling you hit.
You can go in with the mindset that you KNOW you’re starting a business and you KNOW the recurring revenue model is what you want because that certainty is important for you before you take the leap.
Or you can go into it with the mindset of I want to start a business but I haven’t got a clue where to start and i’m just going to surround myself with some like minded people, take on some hugely valuable information, maybe dip my toe in the water with a side hustle and generate some extra income.
Or…I’m just curious!!
Lisa’s been on the podcast a few times, has been my friend for a few years and I’m a partner because I fully believe in her work…and I don’t recommend people lightly, I certainly don’t partner with them lightly but she’s the real deal.
If you’ve even listened to just one episode of the podcast I hope you can tell integrity is high on my values list and she’s the same. I’ve watched her over the last few years go from just about hitting the 6 figure mark to £3 million per year, 90% of that is passive or semi passive income. I’ve seen it, I’ve done it, I know you can do it too if I can just get you to believe in yourself.
I’m living proof of what’s possible. Going from a negative, anxiety ridden, sleep deprived mess with zero self esteem to someone who’s had almost quarter of a million downloads of a podcast teaching people how to change their businesses and their lives. To creating a successful business that I love, in the dream home and launching my own signature group programme teaching people how to overcome stress and overwhelm and live a calm, balanced, happy life not being ruled by your emotions. I mean…that’s some magic to me right there and if I can do it, you absolutely can!
There’s just a few pieces of the puzzle you’re missing right now and the challenge will help you fill in some of those blanks…and so will I, I’ll absolutely be in your corner every step of the way. If you sign up through my link bit.ly/franandlisa then my DMs and emails are FULLY open to you. I want you to see that you can do it and one of my super powers is seeing the money generating ideas and I want to do that for you. It’s an easier process than you think!
Let’s call out the elephant in the room now! The challenge will of course lead into her telling you about her amazing One To Many programme, which i’m a partner for and I talked a lot about last year, but she is NOT one of those people that will give you the what but not the how, and I wouldn’t recommend something for you that did because it’s a HUGE bugbear of mine and I’m grateful to you for having me in your ear buds and leeting me share my message. I absolutely don’t want you to waste your time. I want you to see your potential.
You can get results just from the challenge if you take action! I just really want you to have this information, whatever you choose to do with it!
You can absolutely do this.
You get one life and I fully believe we’re supposed to live it doing what we love. So go to bit.ly/franandlisa it’s free, you have absolutely nothing to lose and SO much to gain! I can’t wait to support you!
Fran Excell, Subconscious Success Mentor – Helping Business Owners Overcome Stress & Self Sabotage at www.franexcell.com
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