Why there’s no such thing as failure!

 In Coaching, Confidence, Entrepreneur, Fear, Mindset, Self sabotage

Why there is no such thing as failure

There really is no such thing as failure.  

What?! I hear you cry!

Of course there’s such a thing as failure…I’m absolutely freaking terrified of it.

I hear you, I do.  That’s exactly the way I used to think.

It used to get me too!

I used to let this huge fear of failure hold me back from doing, well, most of the things I wanted to.

What if I fail.

What if people SEE me fail.

Oh MY GOD! What if I look stupid and everyone judges me and I have to sushi roll myself into the duvet and hide for the rest of my LIFE!

How are you thinking about it?

The thing is, when you think of failure as being this huge awful thing that you can NEVER come back from and think that things will NEVER be the same if you ‘fail’ then OF COURSE you’re going to fear it.

But is that the only way you can look at it?

You know what, things WILL never be the same again.  But in a GOOD way.

Take it from someone who’s actually pretty familiar with good old ‘failure’ that it really can be, and usually is a GOOD thing.

When you can trust that there is nothing to fear you can get on your merry way to taking action, making progress, having results, failing forwards.

If you stay fearing failure then you’ll always stay stuck.  You’re not going to be able to take the actions you need to to get where you want to go.

Those big dreams you have will stay just that…dreams.

Try looking at failure as an opportunity for growth, as an opportunity to LEARN.  I do, so really I don’t think there’s any such thing s ‘failing’ I really don’t.

The definition of failure

The definition of failure is a ‘lack of success’ but if something’s not quite gone according to plan, is that really what you’re left with?  

Would other people think the same way as you?  We all have different barometers of what failure and success mean and it’s completely individual to us.

You backed yourself and tried something, usually something that a lot of people wouldn’t back themselves to try in the first place so you’re already winning there!

Our brains like certainty!

Try to remember that our brains like certainty, which is not something that comes easily when we’re doing something that’s new or outside of our comfort zones.

We’re also, as humans, predisposed to look at the negative.  So when we fear failure we’re looking at all the possible ways it could go wrong and what that would mean.  

BUT, it hasn’t happened yet so you really do have a lot more control over how you think and therefore feel about it if you just challenge your thought processes.

We all have a different opinion on and definition of what failure actually means to us too so question yourself on how you think about it, ask other people how they see it, get curious.

Keep on reading below…but if you’re more of a watcher…this is for you:

False Evidence Appearing Real

I’ve talked about fear a lot and the fact that it’s just False Evidence Appearing Real but if you can change your outlook on the thing you fear, in this case failure, then there really is nothing to fear anyway.

There is no success without failure

There is no success without failure.  To know what success really means to you and what it feels like you have to have a few failures.  Those failures build your resilience too so there can be a lot of positives to failing!

You’ll try things, you’ll test things, you’ll tweak things.  But you often have to find what doesn’t work to find what does.

What is it about failure that you’re afraid of?

Is it really true?

Can you think of a time that you ‘failed’ and learned a valuable lesson and came out better for it in the long run?

My favourite quote is, ‘Sometimes on the way to the dream you get lost and find a better one.’ The way I take this is that failure or obstacles are par for the course and can and usually do lead you on to bigger and better things and in the end are something to be grateful for.

How do you choose to look at failure?

It’s all about how you choose to look at it.

What does failure mean to YOU?  

Would other people view it the same way?

How else could you look at it?

Does everything about failure have to be negative?  How can you find a positive?

You know the phrase ‘you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince’?  I use a similar concept in my business, that every no is leading you to the right yes.  The ‘no’s’ weren’t right for you anyway and every time you get one it leads you closer to those yes’ that ARE right for you.

You can actually use this fear of failure as something that doesn’t stop you in your tracks but something to spur you on!  To drive you forward. To get you TAKING the action instead of shying away from it.

Failing Vs Failure

To me ‘failure’ or getting things ‘wrong’ is how we learn and grow and get better.  ‘Failing’ in itself does NOT make you a ‘failure’ they are two very different things.

Really if we’re honest this fear of failure is just another of the many ways we self sabotage our own success.  If you let that little gremlin in your head stop you in your tracks and keep you stuck then you’re not going to get anywhere fast.  Don’t let your own thoughts do that to you when they can be changed with just a little curiosity and by making a choice to find another lens to look at it through.

Have an open mind and stop fearing the failure and look for the opportunity in it.

Look at all the evidence

There are countless examples of hugely successful people who failed countless times before they were successful.  They grew and learned from every failure. Look at Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, Bill Gates, JK rowling, Walt Disney and a HUGE amount more.  From their failures came their biggest successes. Our lives would be infinitely more different now if they had just let failure stop them going for what they wanted.

I can honestly tell you that now, I don’t believe i’ve ever failed in my life.  I used to think me giving up on my jewellery business was ‘failure’ but really it was all because of a ‘fear’ of it that I quit in the first place.  Even though I felt embarrassed, made excuses and felt ashamed it has led me down a path that is SO right for me I have to pinch myself so can I really call it a failure?  

Now outwardly other people may think I have failed, but that’s not my problem.  As long as I KNOW I haven’t failed, there is no such thing as failure and TRUST that it will always lead me to bigger and better things that are more RIGHT for me then what is there to fear?  

If you want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability then come join me in my private community below  or book in a free discovery call here to see if we’re a good fit to work together!!

Fx

P.S – Question…Are you sick of self sabotaging and procrastinating on getting your business going?  Would you like to learn some practical strategies to stop you procrastinating WHEN it happens so you can FINALLY get the things you NEED to do DONE?  Download my FREE guide below and I’ll show you 5 simple strategies to stop procrastination in its tracks!

Fran Excell

Mindset coach for self sabotaging female entrepreneurs at www.franexcell.com

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