Why should you be kind

 In Confidence, Kindness, Podcast

Why should you be kind

Could you be a little more kind?

Genuine question.

If you’ve been with me for a while you’ll know I like to talk a lot about random acts of kindness and all the amazing benefits that performing them has for both you, the person you’re kind to but also the other people that they then encounter in their day.

It’s a pretty amazing thing really, that something quite simple and totally free can do so much.  And yet it’s becoming a bit of a lost art so i’m on a mission to bring it back.

I use it daily

It’s something I use in my journaling (for the non-dear diary type!) and is something that is just a way of life for me, and I encourage you to do the same and reap all the lovely benefits that go with it.

Random acts of kindness are what’s known in positive psychology as an ‘intervention’ and there’s lots of these. Gratitude is another one.  But this is one of my favourites because it’s so instant.

So what do you do?!

So…what do you have to do?…just be nice.  Be a good egg. Be kind to people. Intentionally go out of your way and just try and make someone else’s day better, even in the smallest of ways.

So why is this so important?  Several reasons. One, it will make your day better.  It will shift your outlook over time, you will walk around with a general feeling of the warm and fuzzies day in, day out….who wouldn’t want that?!  

Two. It will make someone else’s day better. THEY will walk around with a feeling of warm and fuzzies and in a pay it forward fashion will want to do something nice for someone else.

So you will actually start this little loop of positivity and warm and fuzzies.  

Can you see how the more people that go out of their way to do this even in a small way would not only make you feel MUCH more positive day to day and MUCH less likely to focus on any negative situations for long but if more people did it it would literally change the world?

I have this conversation when i’m in the car with my husband.  I will ALWAYS make sure I let someone in front of me. I just don’t see the point of bullishly, stubbornly and intentionally not helping someone else out or making them feel bad for making a mistake. I mean what do you get out of it other than reaching your destination about 5 seconds before them?  

If you just let them in, they say thank you, they feel good, you feel good and then hopefully they will think of that next time and do the same thing.

The law of reciprocity

The way the law of reciprocity works is simple.  When you do something nice for someone, they want to do something nice too.  Whether it’s for you or for someone else. It’s the idea that whatever good things you put out into the universe will come back to you.

A great example of this is a few things that have happened to me even in the past week.

Number one, engaging with a shop assistant in a shoe shop, genuinely.  It can be a tough job when often people treat you like you’re just there to do their bidding, to do a job for YOU when they’re human beings and deserve to be treated nicely and with a little respect just like anyone else does.  These days so many people don’t even look up from their phones to pay for things in the supermarket. I just chatted to her genuinely, kindly and with a smile…and she gave me a £10 discount! Just because she ‘liked my energy and have been so nice’.

Number two, I was negotiating my next years car insurance and, again, was nice, genuine and spoke to him like a human being and…hey presto…even MORE money off my insurance…just for being nice!

Number three, I was sat in a hotel doing some work and was nice and smiley to the barman and later on he came and delivered me a lovely cocktail…guess what…for being so nice!

(Keep reading below!)

We’re wired for it as humans

When you’re nice, kind, giving and genuine you make people feel good and the law of reciprocity is about how we, as humans, want to feel ‘even’ we want to make sure we’ve ‘paid someone back’ and that’s where the flow of lovely kindness comes from.

People being kind to us makes us want to do kind things for that person and other people.

There are a million different ways to look at it.  If you’re into manifesting and the law of attraction then you will have definitely heard people speak about it in terms of quicker routes to manifesting the things you want into your life.

Keep it simple!

For me I like to keep it simple.  Do good things and other people will do good things and the world is a better place, i’m happier, you’re happier, someone else is happier.

When you’re in any negative situation you can use this little tool to instantly get out of that funk.  It never fails to make you feel good.

Here’s a few ideas for you to get you started.

    1. Smile at a shop assistant and ask how THEY are.
    1. Buy a cup of coffee for a stranger.
    1. Buy a homeless person some food.
    1. Give someone your seat on the tube.
    1. Hold a door open for someone.
    1. Make dinner for your other half.
    1. Give or volunteer for a charity.
    1. Dish out 5 compliments per day.
    1. Text 5 friends and tell them why you love them.
  1. Ask a loved one if there is anything you can do to lighten their load today.

Now that’s just 10 to get you started so I encourage you to get creative.

If you’re still not bought in here are a few more of the benefits of being kind.

    1. Better health, seriously! Being kind releases Endorphins, Oxytocin and Serotonin into your system.  Now these are natural anti depressants but also Oxytocin literally lowers your blood pressure and Endorphins decrease pain.
    1. More happiness less anxiety.  You will have lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone responsible for a huge array of health issues!)
    1. It actively increases confidence and self esteem. Your perception of your own self worth increases!
  1. Rewiring your brain for the positive and diffusing negativity!

These are scientifically proven benefits! So if you want a piece of that pie for yourself get going and do a random act of kindness and remember the law of reciprocity.

Kindness is contagious so why not go give someone a dose! 🙂

If you want to explore this further, have any questions or want some accountability then come join me in my private community below  or book in a free discovery call here to see if we’re a good fit to work together!!

Fx

P.S – Question…Are you sick of self sabotaging and procrastinating on getting your business going?  Would you like to learn some practical strategies to stop you procrastinating WHEN it happens so you can FINALLY get the things you NEED to do DONE?  Download my FREE guide below and I’ll show you 5 simple strategies to stop procrastination in its tracks!

Fran Excell

Mindset coach for self sabotaging female entrepreneurs at www.franexcell.com

Join my Free private facebook community here

Check out The Positive Pants Podcast here

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